Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize