there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize