it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
