Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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