The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
