I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I look better un-naked...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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