If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
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I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
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I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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