jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
