are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
