went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
