well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Randomize
