id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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