wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Rumble strips road head = magical
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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