my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
How does one acquire holy water?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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