Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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