I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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