at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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