My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize