butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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