Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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