i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
