And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I hope mine doesn't look like that
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
