Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
