No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
