I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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