glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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