Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
