So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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