just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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