Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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