shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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