For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
