I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
and she was petting her beer can
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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