Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize