how can u be prego again
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
There's always time for handjobs
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
