i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
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