So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
