there's paper in my vomit.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
