I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
