Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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