OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
