P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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