At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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