I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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