actually, I'm a sock model
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
