I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
