i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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