I smell stomach acid.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
