Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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