2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
