Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
