he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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