Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
