how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
