so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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