the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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