I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
