How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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