Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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