He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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