Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
