whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
