If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
