so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
