3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We left the knife in your bed.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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