Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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