i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Sext me about skeletons
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
