We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
