I just gift wrapped bread.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
the liver wants what the liver wants
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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